#the entire dizznee family is here jeez

[a-lonely-tatertot]

Finding Home

First / Wattpad / Ao3

A/N: Second to last chapter boiiissss :DD! once again betaed by the amazing @bookwyrminspiration! also @cadence-talle helped with editing after having to deal with me yell way to much about it!

words: 4731

tw: n/a if you do find any please let me know

The sun had set again, in a brilliant display of colors lighting up the sky. Sophie wondered what it would be like to be the sun; the center of everything, endlessly spinning. It was probably dizzying. 

She chuckled at the thought before turning back to her girls.

That was right, her girls. Her Linh and Amy. Linh made her feel like the sun sometimes, all dizzy inside and out, not quite knowing what way to go. Not knowing what was right, only what her instincts told her (even if they were wrong).

Linh held her hand as they walked, finding their way down to the van, old and worn down, but it still held up with only mild complaints. 

"We need more time," Fitz had groaned at the table that morning, Sophie responding with a hum of agreement. The twins weren't back to themselves yet and Sophie couldn't imagine going back to school and pretending that her best friend wasn't living with her pseudo-mom (was she even allowed to call Mari that?). Amy had perked up at Fitz's words, a mischievous smile on her face. 

"Sophie," she started. "Do you remember that cabin Mom and Dad used to take us to?"

Sophie did. All too clearly if she could say. It was a fairly large thing, they went on summer breaks, and whenever they could. Countless memories of laughing and running around as her parents haphazardly yelled at them to not break anything (they tried, they really did—it wasn't Sophie's fault that the vase just had to be right there). "I do," Sophie said hesitantly. "What are you planning?"

"Nothing!" Amy yelled way too conspicuously. "It’s just that it’s super cheap right now, and-" she trailed off. 

Sophie knew for a fact that it definitely wasn't cheap; the place was huge and everyone would be jumping to get at it. But, she hadn't seen her sister this nervous in forever, and it would be nice to see the place again, she had reasoned with herself. 

So, she agreed because god dammit her sister deserved something good. That was how they ended up standing next to the van, giving last minute hugs, and trading promises to see each other soon.

-

She was not panicking. There was no way that she was possibly panicking. Sophie "The Moonlark" fuckin’ Foster did not panic about something as simple as packing for a trip.

Except for the fact that she very much was. And it was very much not okay. 

"AMY!" she yelled, half stuck in her very small closet, as she stood on her tippy toes trying to reach the duffle bag stuffed in the very back. Why had she put it so far up? How had she put it so far up?

"AMY!" she called again. Where the hell was her sister? 

"WHAT!" Amy finally yelled back. 

"GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!" 

A few complaints and grumbles later Amy was standing at her side. "What do you want? I have to pack still," Amy said.

"That’s exactly what I want," Sophie bit back. Amy raised her eyebrow and Sophie groaned. "I mean, what am I even supposed to pack?"

"Clothes?"

"No shit. But like what else."

"Sophie what the fuck how long has it been since you went somewhere?"

"We went to Mari's literally last week!"

"So why don't you know how to pack?"

"Cause that was for like two days! This is two weeks!" Sophie yelled, desperately throwing her hands up in distress. 

Amy muttered something along the lines of "You are helpless," under her breath before grabbing the duffle out of Sophie's hands. "Come on, Soybean. We got shit to do."

"You know, saying my childhood nickname and a curse in the same sentence is really jarring." Amy huffed a laugh before tearing through Sophie's poor closet.

-

The van felt too large and too small all at the same time. Their bags were thrown haphazardly in the back, along with an outrageous amount of snacks. But even with everything there was still room. The thing that made it feel small was the silence. Amy's silence, to be more specific. The worst part was Sophie knew exactly what it was about.

Music drifted through the car, some random song about love feeling like a movie, and it made Sophie want to hit the radio with a hammer. Unfortunately, Amy would murder her if she even made a scratch on the poor van that was already falling apart. So, in a desperate attempt to ignore her relationship problems she changed the station. In the corner of her eye she could see Amy shake her head.

Sophie didn't ask for this, okay? So, it meant that she didn't have to deal with it if it was too much, right? 

She knew she was wrong. Watching the memories, listening in, thinking of the girl she loved as a threat because that’s what she was trained to do! The war was over but its scars were still there. 

She didn't need Amy's eye rolls, or her head shakes of disapproval, she didn't need Fitz's butting in. She didn't need it, okay! She knew. But dear God it hurt.

It hurt when Linh had kissed her that morning. It hurt when she didn't quite know what to do, if she was moving her mouth right, or if Linh could just see straight through her. Every mistake, every broken thought. Every stupid, stupid decision.

And then the question had to come out of Amy's mouth.

That stupid stupid question she had asked a million times over.

"Why do you keep doing it?"

She wanted to cry. Cry until her eyes were dry and her throat hurt and her insides cracked. Because that's what she was, wasn't she? Cracked. Shattered. Broken. Sophie didn't know why she lied. Why she went into the girl who she swore she loved, business. Why couldn't she just stop? Why not?

"I don't know," she said truthfully. Her voice was roughed and scratchy and wrong. 

Amy sighed, "You know I love you. But you've got to tell her. Sooner or later, it’s just gonna tear you to shreds. And we both know you elves don’t do good with guilt."

"No, we don't," Sophie chucked bitterly. 

They settled into uneasy silence after that. For once though, Sophie found herself agreeing with Amy. She needed to tell Linh. They were a ticking time bomb, only good for broken hearts and massive collateral damage.

-

The cabin was exactly how she remembered it. Old wood, old beams, old memories. Glass windows that covered the towering walls, trees that went as far as the eye could see. It was cozy, and Sophie felt small again. Like a little child waiting for her parents to come in carrying their suitcases as she jumped around yelling with all the energy in the world.

It felt like home, welcoming her back with open arms. And she couldn't be happier. 

Well, until Linh had to walk and reality came crashing down. 

And it didn't help that Linh looked good. She wasn't even wearing anything special, a cardigan over a crop top, some worn jeans and nice boots. Her hair had two short braids going around her head like a circlet and connecting in the back like a crown. Sophie hoped she could just die on the spot.

But she couldn't, because Amy was showing her upstairs to put their bags away in their old room (She and Linh weren't rooming together because Amy stated that she didn't want anything gross to happen. She was lying, and Sophie would be eternally grateful for that). 

Sighing, she turned to go up the stairs, finally dragging her gaze away from Linh to haul the bags to their rightful spots. 

After the bags were thrown lazily on the bed Sophie resisted the urge to unpack them just so that she could put it off for longer. So she made her way down the stairs, quietly asked Linh if she would meet her on the porch, and opened the door with a heavy sigh.

The lights were low—in any other circumstance it should have been romantic. Well, it was romantic; to the blissfully unaware Linh. To Sophie it was ironic. 

She was cold, the air chilling her and it took everything in her to not wrap her arms around Linh's waist and bury her head into the crook of Linh's neck. Not right before spilling her guts. She promised Amy. Even if Linh hated her after, she had to do this. 

"I’m sorry." Okay, not a strong start, but still a start.

Linh tilted her head towards her, "Why?"

Her hands moved wildly in front of her, "I- everything."

"Love, you've gotta explain," Linh said, giving Sophie those stupid eyes that seemed to see right through her. 

Sophie sighed, she couldn't push this off any longer. The words fell out of her mouth like a waterfall, her hands following in stumbling movements. Tumbling out, overlapping each other, one not quite getting out fast enough before the next started. She squeezed her eyes shut as if she could block out the world and forget about what she had done, what she was saying, the look on Linh's face.

Oh god that look. 

Sophie didn't think she would ever forget it. 

When the words stopped, and her hands stilled and the world seemed to stop with them. Her breath caught in her throat and she felt her shoulders hunch involuntarily, folding in on herself. Part of her wished this was a fight she could win,the match ending with one of them on top and a blade to someone’s throat- because that Sophie knew. Not these emotions that she was taught to shove in a box. Emotions got in the way. They affected decisions. Honestly, Sophie thought she was free of that, being easily swayed like a tree in the wind by her own heart. 

But fear still controlled her.

It made her do things she regretted. Things she hated herself for. 

An iron grip that she couldn't escape.

The worst part about the entire situation was that Linh was silent. If there was one thing Sophie knew, it was that she was shit at reading body language. And seeing that that was the only thing she currently had to gauge Linh's reaction, Sophie was at a loss.

"What the fuck," Linh finally said, staring at the wood like she hoped it would help her. 

Sophie wished it would too. "I’m sorry," she whispered.

"Let me get this straight," Linh sighed. "You watched my memories without my permission, listened in on conversations that I had. And when Amy tried to tell you not to, you didn't listen."

Sophie gulped, "Yup."

"I'm sorry."

It took at least a minute for the words to process. Linh- why was Linh sorry? Sophie was sure the confusion was clear on her face because Linh smiled sadly before speaking again.

"I never meant to lie to you. About coming here when I said that I had been at that road house the entire time. I wanted to tell you I just- I didn't want to think about it, how I pushed everyone away. And when I saw you I saw a fresh start, someone I could be someone else with and I wanted that. So I pretended I was fine. I’m sorry that you had to find out on your own."

Sophie chuckled dryly, “God, we’re both so fucked up.”

Linh laughed quietly. “Do you think,” she said, “that if we didn’t go through everything we did, if you stayed and I didn’t push you away, would we have worked?”

Sophie didn’t like to think about what could’ve happened, a side effect of losing so many friends.She remembered a time that with one word she would burn down the world for Linh. “I think we were doomed to fail,” Sophie said sadly. Because in the end, she loved the idea of Linh and not the girl herself.

Linh only nodded and they both ignored the tears in their eyes. Just walk away, she told herself. it’s time to go now, just walk away.

And Sophie tried, tried to peel herself off that porch, but no matter how hard she pulled she was stuck. Staring at the girl she thought she loved, tears blurring her vision, her head spinning like she was the sun. 

Sophie just wanted to hold Linh because even if she didn’t love her like she thought she did, she still loved her in some way.

Linh’s head turned, her normally bright eyes that could light up the world were dull. There was no light behind them, and Sophie was haunted by the fact that it was eerily similar to the face she wore in the memory of bruised hands Sophie had watched.

In that moment Sophie wanted to take it all back. Her hands itched to hold Linh, to tell her that she didn't do anything wrong, to comfort her. But Sophie had lost that, lost the privilege to hold her. The realization hit her then (though she might have always known) that she didn't love this girl in the beginning. But spending nights together, realizing who Linh was again, she believed she loved her like she had. It hurt a bit, but she’d known for a while that she had fallen again, but she couldn't take back what she did and that had to be okay. 

They stood there a while longer, tears staining both their cheeks, knowing eventually the moment would have to end. It was all gonna be over. It felt like leaving all over again and this time Sophie didn't have the strength to walk away—but Linh did. She left, pulling her hands away from the railing, leaving Sophie to stand in the slowly falling snow alone (she didn't know when it had started, or when the tears in her eyes were colder than normal, tasting like ice on her tongue). 

Eventually, the cold forced her back inside. She found Amy waiting on the couch in the 'Great Hall' (a.k.a. Living Room 2 out of three). There was a book in her hand that dropped as soon as Sophie wandered pitifully into her sister's line of sight.

"Hey," Amy whispered as Sophie put her head in her lap.

"Hi," Sophie responded.

"Hello?" Fitz spoke from the doorway, voice startling both of them.

Sophie still didn't move, barely glancing back at him to see his eyebrow raised. 

"Is she good?" Fitz asked.

"They broke up," Amy supplied when Sophie didn't give an answer.

"That explains why Tam's lookin’ like he's gonna commit murder." Sophie groaned in response, only burying her head further from view and into the blanket. She heard Fitz leave, expecting him to leave her with Amy in her misery only for his footsteps to come back. "Oh yes gimme," Amy said above her, hand leaving Sophie's hair. 

"Nope, it’s for the depressed dumbass." Sophie raised her head to see Fitz grinning. The next thing she knew she was lifted off of the couch, trying to hold onto something, only for Fitz to slip under her and throw her over him and Amy. "There you go, you cat," Fitz laughed and handed her a tub of ice cream. 

At some point the tub of ice cream would become empty, and at some point reality would come crashing down again and she would cry. In the arms of her sister and her best friend. At some point she would fall asleep to be woken up by a knock on the door. But right then she would grin, with Amy's hand in her hair and Fitz trying to decide what movie they should watch. Right then she would feel loved.

-

Someone was banging on the front door and Sophie was about two seconds from committing murder. It wasn't the knocks that had woken her up--no, it was that they meant Fitz was getting up, which meant he had to let go of her, which made her follow him around like a lost puppy because dammit he gave good cuddles.

Sophie honestly didn't give a shit about who was at the door, just waiting for Fitz to open it so that they could go back to the couch and Moana, which was currently paused. What she did not expect was Marella, Keefe, and Dex to be standing outside the door with suitcases and matching grins.

Sophie was too tired for this.

The grins faded as soon as Fitz and Keefe locked eyes and the tension in the room rose. 

"You're- you're here-" Fitz said, his face painted with surprise. 

"I brought friends," Keefe responded. 

"Hello," Marella and Dex greeted.

"Hi," Sophie responded from behind Fitz, who was still locked in a staring contest with Keefe.

Finally, Keefe's eyes moved from Fitz and he grinned again when he saw her, "To be honest I'm not surprised that you and Biana set this up. Need a family reunion after a few years?"

"Biana?" Fitz and Sophie asked in unison. Neither of them had seen her since they had left. It made some part of Sophie queasy to think that Biana was left alone to deal with the council. 

"Yeah? She sent us invites and plane tickets?" Marella spoke up, her eyebrows  knitted together. 

"I had no idea about those," Sophie said. "I haven't heard from Biana since I left. For all I know she's back in the Lost Cities."

"Actually-" a voice with a thick accent came from behind her. For a moment Sophie thought it was Fitz until a flash of light and long brown hair came into view on her left. "Hi," Biana grinned.

Five minutes later the Great Hall was packed with Sophie's friends who she thought she wouldn't see for at least another eight years. But here they were; Marella, Dex and Keefe crammed on a couch, Linh avoiding her eyes as she and Tam talked in hushed tones, Fitz anxiously opening and closing his hands next to her, and Amy and Biana talking in the middle of the room in harsh whispers.

Honestly? Sophie was done with the avoidance of the elephant in the room. "Are you guys going to explain what the hell is going on or?" Sophie finally asked, her exasperation clear. 

"WE'RE HERE!" came from the doorway, a clear answer to Sophie's question. Dex's face paled at the voice, clearly recognizing its owner.

"Biana, Amy," Dex started, staring at the girls in the center of the room with a look of pure terror on his face. "Why, in the Ancients names, are they here?" 

"Sup, bitch," Bex walked through the door, her lips pulled into a smug grin. 

Dex's head fell into his hands with a groan that only got longer when his other two siblings joined them. The triplets weren't all that surprising. Unexpected, until you took into the account that this was probably some elaborate prank that would most definitely have the triplets involved. 

The surprise, though, was the mop of curly brown hair and almost-purple eyes that walked in after them with a fond look of exasperation. Stina Heks was not someone who Sophie thought would be involved in this.

Tam shared her look of confusion, "Will somebody please tell us what the fuck is going on?"

That got a laugh out of the triplets and Amy, while Biana smiled and Stina looked bored. That wasn't much of a surprise, the bored face of Stina was one Sophie knew well (mostly from having to stare at it for hours during Valiant meetings, trying desperately for her to understand that she didn't have a choice to fight like she did). If anything, it was comforting to know she hadn't changed much.

"I don’t even know where to start," Biana said, and Amy laughed awkwardly.

"The beginning," Sophie deadpanned just wishing this would be over so that she could wallow in self pity in peace.

"Well..." Biana trailed off.

"This was a project to get your dumbasses together," Bex started.

Dex looked moderately distressed as he whispered, "Language", which only got an eye roll in response.

"We started it after you three left," Lex said pointing towards Marella, Dex and Keefe, who looked only mildly uncomfortable.

“Because all of you thought that the only way of coping was running away,” Rex finished. The room erupted in a cacophony of half finished excuses before Biana raised her hand, a pointed look on her face. 

“And that was fine! For a while,” she started. “I kept tabs on you to make sure y’all didn’t do anything stupid, until I realized what the heck was going on with Linh-“ 

“Oh great,” Linh growled every head swivling to her in surprise, “another person who doesn’t know how to respect some fucking privacy!” Linh had stood as she spose, anger clear on her face. A sharp pang of guilt found itself stabbing at Sophie’s heart.

“Please, I just wanted to look out for you-“

“Oh shut up. You were doing it so you could feel good about yourself picking up some goddamn charity cases!” With almost every word Linh took a step forward, getting into Biana’s space with a snarl. “Well guess what. I was doing fine until you fucked with my life.”

“Linh-“ Tam called after her as she stormed out of the room. With a sigh he looked back at all the stunned faces; most of them had never seen Linh angry. “I’m sorry, she’s just had a bad day. I’ll go talk to her,” he said before following her out. 

“Christ,” Marella murmured, watching the door. 

The feeling of guilt only grew bigger at that knowing that she was the reason for the outburst. That her stupid fucking instincts could’ve-

“Soph,” Fitz whispered. “Sophie, look at me.” 

She really really didn’t want to. But there was a soft urgency in his voice that made her look. “It’s not your fault, you came clean. How Linh deals with that is entirely up to her, okay?”

Sophie wanted to say that she shouldn't have done anything in the first place but stopped herself. She couldn't go down that rabbit hole, not then not ever. 

Biana sighed, and her shoulders seemed to drop before she started again. "I'm sorry for watching you guys, I tried to stay out of most things just making sure y’all didn't, like, go to jail or fuck up a government or something," she said slowly. 

"Bi," Fitz said, older brother instincts clearly kicking in, "it's okay. We tried to drop off the face of the earth-- we didn't exactly expect you to walk away unaffected."

Murmurs of agreement rang out through the room and slowly Biana’s hunched form seeped away to her normal stance. 

Amy picked up the story. “We realized that you guys weren’t getting better and that frankly the Lost Cities were getting worse.” 

“We might’ve not done it in the best way,” Lex said. “But you guys needed each other. All of you were hiding under facades with a false belief  that you were getting better and it was feeding into the idea to run away. So all we did was point you guys to each other, a little nudge to the right spot.” 

“Oh,” Fitz said next to Sophie as realization dawned on both of them.

“OH MY GOD I WAS RIGHT!” Sophie said as soon as it all made sense. It was all planned! She wasn’t going crazy with paranoia (okay, maybe she was going slightly crazy, but that wasn’t the point)! 

All she got was raised eyebrows and a snort from Amy as a response to her outburst. 

“A little nudge?” Keefe asked. “You literally sent us a weird ass note with plane tickets and money so that we could be here—not very subtle of you.”

“Look, we were working off of what we had-“ Rex spoke, trying to hold in a laugh.

“Very cryptic, good job guys,” Marella laughed.

“Wait okay,” Sophie started. “Was Tam and Fitz ending up at Mari’s planned?”

Bex laughed and Amy grinned, “Nope! That woman just attracts strays somehow.”

Sophie and Fitz shared a knowing smile, remembering how she took them in with no hesitation. 

“One last question: why are you here?” Dex asked, gesturing to Stina.

“I’m moral support,” the girl answered with a shrug, and no one questioned it.

“Keefe- Keefe you can’t fall asleep. It’s only four pm,” Marella said suddenly, shaking the boy's shoulder slightly. 

“But I’m so fucking tired,” Keefe whined.

“Jet lag my beloathed,” Fitz chuckled, and Sophie felt it rumble through his body. 

“Okay sleepy heads,” Biana smiled, because no matter how hard Dex and Marella tried to pretend they weren’t tired their eyes were clearly dropping. "Go to bed, grab a room upstairs that isn't taken." 

"Dinner's at six!" Fitz called out after them and Sophie vaguely wondered if he would make one of Mari's recipes. 

Fitz did actually end up making one of Mari's recipes, a simple chicken and waffles with hashbrowns and bacon. An odd thing to have for dinner, but when it tasted heavenly who was gonna complain?  The smell carried through the house, dragging the occupants to the kitchen with growling stomachs.

Honestly, the sight was delicious and Sophie wanted nothing more than to just smack her face into it like an animal. It looked really good, okay? It was a perfectly reasonable thing to do.

It was not, Sophie found out as she basically devoured a chicken strip in one bite, only to find the others looking at her in bewilderment (except for Linh, who was ignoring her existence).

"Jeez, it’s like you have never eaten before," Biana laughed.

Sophie considered throwing a chicken strip at her but held back for the sake of keeping her food to herself.

Meaningless conversation started after that. A million and one questions about where they all ended up, how they got there, all that. It was all fine for a while, Sophie mostly tuning out conversations and trying oh so desperately to keep her eyes off of Linh (she was only moderately failing). It all started to go downhill when some not so subtle giggles erupted from what Sophie had dubbed as the childrens’ end of the table.

The next thing Sophie knew, Keefe was getting smacked in the face with a waffle.

Predictably, chaos broke out after the declaration of war. Sophie chucked a piece of chicken at who she thought was Biana only to be hit in the face with a handful of hashbrowns. Dex, Marella, and Keefe seemed to be teaming up against the triplets—who were absolutely wild. And then Fitz and Biana were on the other side of the table pelting her and Amy with whatever they could get their hands on, Linh was helping the triplets. Tam and Stina stood off to the side, presumably judging them but Sophie didn’t care because she knew that they didn’t hate them until—

A loud smack rang out.

Silence covered the room as everyone’s heads turned to Tam,who had a waffle slowly dripping down his face. In that moment, Keefe looked scared shitless. Slowly, Tam took the waffle off his face, grabbed the tray full of bacon and without hesitation launched it at Keefe with deadly accuracy. Marella was screaming “man down,” the triplets and Amy were cackling, Linh was grinning (Sophie forced herself not to look), and Sophie had never felt more content.

The fight came to an end as everyone’s exhaustion started to show. Giggling like madmen, the large group stumbled their way up the stairs to their respective rooms. Sophie, too tired to think and walking on autopilot, started to follow Linh like a lost puppy to their room. It was their room, right? 

A hand on her arm stopped her. 

The feeling of watching Linh leave, watching Linh yell, saying that she didn't think they would've ever worked, came crashing down on her. Knocking the wind out of her, making her choke. 

With a sad smile Amy dragged her back to their room, handing her pjs, getting her to the bathroom and holding her as she cried. They ended up on the stupidly large bed, Amy running a comforting hand through Sophie's too-long hair, as the moon rose, and the stars watched.